JINX

Thanks karma, for the big slap in the face yesterday. (See blog right below) Waking up in the middle of the night to that feeling that something is very wrong inside of your body is soo fun. After a full bottle of anti nausea medication and a sleepless night, I got to enjoy absolutely none of Thanksgiving Day. This is now the 4th year of my marriage that I have been sick on Thanksgiving Day. It is almost tradition now.

Hope that your Thanksgiving was better than mine and happy shopping to all of the freaks that actually got up at 3 am to go.

I am a Hypochondriac

Yes, it is true, I am a hypochondriac. With good reason. My immune system sucks, so I am the annoying girl with the hand sanitizing wipes rubbing down grocery carts and kids everywhere I go. It makes me wonder, why do people think that someone is better as soon as they have broken a fever. HELLO, it could be back at any moment.

Case and point:

Niece's Birthday party on Saturday
Niece sick with flu on Thursday and Friday
Party still on b/c niece isn't puking on Sat.
Her mom, dad and sister and grandma - all sick by Sunday night
So,So glad I didn't go!!!

Come on people, have you heard of the incubation period for a virus?

Co-ordination

Until last night, I thought that it was all made up, just for a good laugh or tv ratings:




Dan from The Amazing Race proved me wrong. The full body dry heave is in full effect.





I didn't know people were actually made that way. Sad, yet funny beyond the description of words.

I'm Bringin the Sexy Back

Just wanted to share the most amusing thing that I have seen in the last week.



Leotards and legs, LOVE IT!!!

The Great Outdoors

Last night, I decided that Cabelas would be the perfect place to take Z and keep him occupied for more than 5 minutes without any chance of myself being interested in purchasing anything at all. PERFECT!!

This is the only place in the world that sells imitation deer urine, yep I saw it myself and where we overheard a guy trying on an acid washed, fake wool lined, jean jacket, with the significant other saying to him, " Oh, you look so pimp!"

I was partially right, Z loved the sharks (fish), but wanted to pet all of the taxidermy. Gross!!. It is eerily true when people say that they look as though they are watching you where ever you are.

But the prize of the night went to the buck hunting game, with Z saying as he is shooting and reloading at will, "I kill you!!" every 5 seconds. Beautiful that a 2 year old has that phrase down.

Needless to say, we had to tear him away with a tantrum to follow.

I only got one picutre where they are both looking at the camera. Can you say sensory overload?

I just love going out with the family. All fun, no stress.

"The Fluorescent lights were on.... THE WHOLE TIME!!"

I just returned from a fun filled, baby and husband free, shopping, party down weekend with my BFF Jessica in Colorado. It was so fun and of course, there were too many laughs to count. Although there is an event from this past weekend that will go down in the history books that I thought I would share with you all.

As per my husbands request, Jessica had mani/pedi's scheduled, a free chemical peel, and a chiropractor that she knows was having a deal on massages so bonus! Nothing better than a cheap massage.

The chiropractor was sure to let us know that there was a one male and one female massage therapist so Jess gave me the option, and I chose the woman as I am getting a little prudish in my old age.

We arrived at the office and were greeted by Dr. Hatch, the chiropractor and the female massage therapist. So Jess said, " Ally will be with you and I will be with the male" and Dr. Hatch replied, "Oh, Jessica you are with me then!"

I had never heard of a chiropractor also being skilled at massage therapy but hey what do I know? I proceeded into my dimly light room and got my mediocre massage. I was thankful that it was not full price. Not the best that I have ever had that is for sure.

As I walked out of my room, the door to Jessica's room opens and it looks as though she had been beat down. Her eye makeup was running down her face and she looked, well glisteny. I figured that he gave her some deep tissue action. or something.

We paid and left.

Once in the car, Jess lets out a scream and this is what followed:
"Get me out of here before I die!!! That was the sickest thing ever!!
I went into the room and there was an old bleached sheet on the table, nothing else. So I asked for another one and he throws a crumpled sheet at me. I thought to myself, you are an adult, this is fine, he has just been busy and they are doing laundry.

I got undressed and got under the sheets and Dr. Hatch comes in and starts massaging me with his chubby little grubby fingers like your boyfriend or husband does when he doesn't really want to. The lights were on, fluorescent lights Al, they were on THE WHOLE TIME!! No music, nothing, all I could hear was his heavy breathing and his shirt cuffs scratching up and down my back. You could cut the tension with a knife, he was more nervous than I was. I was praying that he wouldn't ask me to turn over but he did and proceeded to massage my feet twice, and then, get this, he massaged my FACE for like 10 minutes!! With the lights on... THE WHOLE TIME, blaring right into my eyes. With his chubby fingers. GROSS!!!!"

You can only imagine my horror and laughter, wrapped all into one. For some reason, things like this only happen to Jess and I when we are together. We have hilariously bad luck.

On the bright side of things, we did get the best shoes in the nation and Anastacia eye brow waxing so I guess it was all a wash.

Jess, I love you, but please whatever you do, no more Target!

Tricks and Treats

This is for my posterity so they can't say that there is nothing nice about them in this blog

On Halloween day, of course, they had to wear orange. It is Z's favorite color after all

The cuties all dressed up. The little kitty is not too amused, she was out of the outfit within 15 minutes. No candy for you!

And yes, at the last minute, I felt festive and dressed up too. After getting soaked by the rain while taking Z around the neighborhood. The festive feeling was gone and Little Red Riding Hood changed into her sweats.