Parenting 101

In the beginning we thought it was a good idea to let our toddler watch shows like Family Guy and Ultimate Fighter, it kept his attention. Now we are re-thinking that. You know that there is a problem when he knows even one word of the opening song and that he seems to only repeat the naughty words thrown out during the episode and thinks that pummeling people is cool.

Mental Note to self - CSI and SVU, too many people being killed and ones that are already dead

ER - too many people on their way to being dead

UFC - too many people trying to kill the other person, but it's their job is what we tell Z so supposedly that makes it okay

Lipstick Jungle - too much sex

Biggest Loser - too much fat and too much crying, not good for boys that don't eat anyway

So what does that leave me with... I guess The Office, John and Kate + 8 and cartoons. Gag, my life as we know it may be over.

Hang on Sloopy

Come on Buckeyes!!! Stop throwing those hay makers Pryor. Guess what, it isn't high school anymore. Maybe this will motivate the rookie to get his act together.

Even though you are screwing up our season, they still love you and yes, you are much better than Boeckman, so we will live to fight another day.

Partners in Crime

I never thought that I would be THAT person. When Janel, my sis in law, would have a child go missing, yes Dylenn - I am talking about you, I always wondered to myself how that could happen. Yet another pre-children thought that has bitten me right in the pooper. For the last week we have had Houdini X 2 getting out almost every day. We would figure it out almost right away and go retrieve everyone, but today we had a neighbor bring our child back telling us he was all the way down the street and then 15 minutes later, two little boys brought the dumb dog back. Long story short, kids can be silent when they want to and dogs always follow kids.

Come on...For Real??

I am sure that this will be a regular occurrence on my blog as I surprise myself at the crap that actually comes out of my mouth sometimes.
First, before going any further, please refer to the blog called Hunger Strike then feel free to read on.

Conversation I just had with my husband
Al - I am so tired
D - Then go to bed
Al - No, I think I will make a cake
D - What
Al - yeah, I want cake
D - okay? he is perplexed but I can tell he is secretly happy.

And so, I proceeded to make a cake, it is cooling now and is 8:35 pm. Really, I need cake like I need another dog. We all know how much I currently love my stinky pooches.

A few minutes later
D - We are so fat
Al - yea, we so are
D - when we get older we are going to be like "Do you want to have sex? No... Do you want to go eat? Yea, that sounds great? Cake? Okay."

How sad is that!

I need to go frost, so Good Night!

I want to go to Azu's

The above is what we get daily from Z. Azu (Ah-zoo) is the sweet lady that, bless her crazy heart, wants to take care of other people's children for money. I am not sure how or why people want to ever do this. I love my kids and even some of my families' also but honestly most people's kids drive me crazy. I am quite sure that I am not the only one though, maybe just one of the few that will admit it. So go ahead Azu, take our kid, we happily turn him over to you. You really should charge us more, no really, it is almost highway robbery, the price that we pay to be able to have freedom from our whiny, non eating, movie watching, sassy 2 year old, two days a week. And Azu wonders why we pick him up late. Sometimes we don't really want him back that badly.

Hunger strike

Why can't I diet? It seems like everyone else can do it and do it well. I have pretty much given up. I only have 12 lbs to lose to get down to pre pregnancy weight, that is before Z - I lost all of my weight from Edyn long ago. Every Sunday is the same old declaration of being fat and that Monday is the start of starvation! By the time lunch rolls around on Monday, I am stressed out from some mortgage and have myself a little treat, then figure that all is lost and everything goes down the crapper. Now I shouldn't be complaining so much, I do eat absolutely whatever I want, whenever I want with the only repercussion being the periodic "attacks" that have plagued my life for oh, so long now. If I can't figure it out soon though, I am going to have bring in the reinforcements.

OK, OK, well maybe not that far, but the sheer annoyance of his voice would make me drop that weight at warp speed so that he would go far far away. No wonder he gets such great results out of people.

Oh no, I only have 5 more days until I make that sacred pact again that I hold so dear. I better go get a snack.

Things that make you go HMMMM

This is going to be a new and ongoing post being that I have a crazy husband and kids who constantly make me question my sanity and wonder what in the heck are they thinking.

Let's start this one with Z.

Why do kids find that coloring on their own bodies is one of the most awe inspiring projects?

Even more of a mystery to me is what we found Z playing with a few days ago and lets add that it was for the better part of an hour

For those of you that can't quite make it out, that is a huge block of cheese. He got it out of the fridge and was riding on it like a pony, carrying it like his favorite bear, and just plain having a grand old time with it. Now, I know that the intense love of cheese comes from my husband's side of the family, being that one of their favs is burnt cheese, just cheese on a plate in the microwave, and that Z's cousin, Layton has eaten cheese in one form or another for everyday since he was about 3. He is now 8, I can only imagine the constipation issues.