Treat for you

Just wanted to give you all a little Christmas treat. This always puts a smile on my face when I watch it.



Have a great week and for all of you that live in UT, try not to get stuck in all of this freakin snow!

Blonde Ambition

I can't believe that this video was even made!! The music makes this just plain comical. All for a sham of a wedding.



Just an FYI, if you look like he does, don't grow a beard and if you have the IQ that she does, don't open your mouth.

Enough said!

Decor Galore

Because of recent events, my holiday decorating is just getting underway. I am coming to realize that the bigger the house, the more of an undertaking. When we first got married, the tree and a few chotchkes were sufficient. Now we need two trees fully decorated, banister to be fully decked out and lots of red, green, and gold for the rest of the house to fill every empty space. All of this, while trying to keep a 2 year old away from it all. JUST LOOK, DON'T TOUCH! I have yet to invest in the shatterproof ornaments. It will be done by the end of this weekend. I hope at least. Wish me luck.

Knee deep in...

PUKE. Are you kidding me that a kid that only wieghs 30 pounds to begin with can have that much inside of him that has to come out? This is what my life has consisted of since last Thursday, hence the lack of posting. Never a better way to make life as you know it come to a complete stand still. I don't know how people do it with multiple kids in this state at the same time. The laundry alone about killed me. Needless to say, Z hates the sight of any large bowl and screams franctically at the sight of one now, but we are back to running on all cylinders.

Traditions

For the majority of the years that I have been married, my husband, brother in law, and their friends have gone shooting out in the desert around Thanksgiving. I always thought that is was a very manly, guy bonding, kind of thing and that they were really on the hunt for rabbits, quail etc. I could not have been more wrong. Here is a little look into what really goes on out in the desert!





Men really don't ever mentally get past the age of 17 but my gosh, they are HILARIOUS!

JINX

Thanks karma, for the big slap in the face yesterday. (See blog right below) Waking up in the middle of the night to that feeling that something is very wrong inside of your body is soo fun. After a full bottle of anti nausea medication and a sleepless night, I got to enjoy absolutely none of Thanksgiving Day. This is now the 4th year of my marriage that I have been sick on Thanksgiving Day. It is almost tradition now.

Hope that your Thanksgiving was better than mine and happy shopping to all of the freaks that actually got up at 3 am to go.

I am a Hypochondriac

Yes, it is true, I am a hypochondriac. With good reason. My immune system sucks, so I am the annoying girl with the hand sanitizing wipes rubbing down grocery carts and kids everywhere I go. It makes me wonder, why do people think that someone is better as soon as they have broken a fever. HELLO, it could be back at any moment.

Case and point:

Niece's Birthday party on Saturday
Niece sick with flu on Thursday and Friday
Party still on b/c niece isn't puking on Sat.
Her mom, dad and sister and grandma - all sick by Sunday night
So,So glad I didn't go!!!

Come on people, have you heard of the incubation period for a virus?

Co-ordination

Until last night, I thought that it was all made up, just for a good laugh or tv ratings:




Dan from The Amazing Race proved me wrong. The full body dry heave is in full effect.





I didn't know people were actually made that way. Sad, yet funny beyond the description of words.

I'm Bringin the Sexy Back

Just wanted to share the most amusing thing that I have seen in the last week.



Leotards and legs, LOVE IT!!!

The Great Outdoors

Last night, I decided that Cabelas would be the perfect place to take Z and keep him occupied for more than 5 minutes without any chance of myself being interested in purchasing anything at all. PERFECT!!

This is the only place in the world that sells imitation deer urine, yep I saw it myself and where we overheard a guy trying on an acid washed, fake wool lined, jean jacket, with the significant other saying to him, " Oh, you look so pimp!"

I was partially right, Z loved the sharks (fish), but wanted to pet all of the taxidermy. Gross!!. It is eerily true when people say that they look as though they are watching you where ever you are.

But the prize of the night went to the buck hunting game, with Z saying as he is shooting and reloading at will, "I kill you!!" every 5 seconds. Beautiful that a 2 year old has that phrase down.

Needless to say, we had to tear him away with a tantrum to follow.

I only got one picutre where they are both looking at the camera. Can you say sensory overload?

I just love going out with the family. All fun, no stress.

"The Fluorescent lights were on.... THE WHOLE TIME!!"

I just returned from a fun filled, baby and husband free, shopping, party down weekend with my BFF Jessica in Colorado. It was so fun and of course, there were too many laughs to count. Although there is an event from this past weekend that will go down in the history books that I thought I would share with you all.

As per my husbands request, Jessica had mani/pedi's scheduled, a free chemical peel, and a chiropractor that she knows was having a deal on massages so bonus! Nothing better than a cheap massage.

The chiropractor was sure to let us know that there was a one male and one female massage therapist so Jess gave me the option, and I chose the woman as I am getting a little prudish in my old age.

We arrived at the office and were greeted by Dr. Hatch, the chiropractor and the female massage therapist. So Jess said, " Ally will be with you and I will be with the male" and Dr. Hatch replied, "Oh, Jessica you are with me then!"

I had never heard of a chiropractor also being skilled at massage therapy but hey what do I know? I proceeded into my dimly light room and got my mediocre massage. I was thankful that it was not full price. Not the best that I have ever had that is for sure.

As I walked out of my room, the door to Jessica's room opens and it looks as though she had been beat down. Her eye makeup was running down her face and she looked, well glisteny. I figured that he gave her some deep tissue action. or something.

We paid and left.

Once in the car, Jess lets out a scream and this is what followed:
"Get me out of here before I die!!! That was the sickest thing ever!!
I went into the room and there was an old bleached sheet on the table, nothing else. So I asked for another one and he throws a crumpled sheet at me. I thought to myself, you are an adult, this is fine, he has just been busy and they are doing laundry.

I got undressed and got under the sheets and Dr. Hatch comes in and starts massaging me with his chubby little grubby fingers like your boyfriend or husband does when he doesn't really want to. The lights were on, fluorescent lights Al, they were on THE WHOLE TIME!! No music, nothing, all I could hear was his heavy breathing and his shirt cuffs scratching up and down my back. You could cut the tension with a knife, he was more nervous than I was. I was praying that he wouldn't ask me to turn over but he did and proceeded to massage my feet twice, and then, get this, he massaged my FACE for like 10 minutes!! With the lights on... THE WHOLE TIME, blaring right into my eyes. With his chubby fingers. GROSS!!!!"

You can only imagine my horror and laughter, wrapped all into one. For some reason, things like this only happen to Jess and I when we are together. We have hilariously bad luck.

On the bright side of things, we did get the best shoes in the nation and Anastacia eye brow waxing so I guess it was all a wash.

Jess, I love you, but please whatever you do, no more Target!

Tricks and Treats

This is for my posterity so they can't say that there is nothing nice about them in this blog

On Halloween day, of course, they had to wear orange. It is Z's favorite color after all

The cuties all dressed up. The little kitty is not too amused, she was out of the outfit within 15 minutes. No candy for you!

And yes, at the last minute, I felt festive and dressed up too. After getting soaked by the rain while taking Z around the neighborhood. The festive feeling was gone and Little Red Riding Hood changed into her sweats.

Parenting 101

In the beginning we thought it was a good idea to let our toddler watch shows like Family Guy and Ultimate Fighter, it kept his attention. Now we are re-thinking that. You know that there is a problem when he knows even one word of the opening song and that he seems to only repeat the naughty words thrown out during the episode and thinks that pummeling people is cool.

Mental Note to self - CSI and SVU, too many people being killed and ones that are already dead

ER - too many people on their way to being dead

UFC - too many people trying to kill the other person, but it's their job is what we tell Z so supposedly that makes it okay

Lipstick Jungle - too much sex

Biggest Loser - too much fat and too much crying, not good for boys that don't eat anyway

So what does that leave me with... I guess The Office, John and Kate + 8 and cartoons. Gag, my life as we know it may be over.

Hang on Sloopy

Come on Buckeyes!!! Stop throwing those hay makers Pryor. Guess what, it isn't high school anymore. Maybe this will motivate the rookie to get his act together.

Even though you are screwing up our season, they still love you and yes, you are much better than Boeckman, so we will live to fight another day.

Partners in Crime

I never thought that I would be THAT person. When Janel, my sis in law, would have a child go missing, yes Dylenn - I am talking about you, I always wondered to myself how that could happen. Yet another pre-children thought that has bitten me right in the pooper. For the last week we have had Houdini X 2 getting out almost every day. We would figure it out almost right away and go retrieve everyone, but today we had a neighbor bring our child back telling us he was all the way down the street and then 15 minutes later, two little boys brought the dumb dog back. Long story short, kids can be silent when they want to and dogs always follow kids.

Come on...For Real??

I am sure that this will be a regular occurrence on my blog as I surprise myself at the crap that actually comes out of my mouth sometimes.
First, before going any further, please refer to the blog called Hunger Strike then feel free to read on.

Conversation I just had with my husband
Al - I am so tired
D - Then go to bed
Al - No, I think I will make a cake
D - What
Al - yeah, I want cake
D - okay? he is perplexed but I can tell he is secretly happy.

And so, I proceeded to make a cake, it is cooling now and is 8:35 pm. Really, I need cake like I need another dog. We all know how much I currently love my stinky pooches.

A few minutes later
D - We are so fat
Al - yea, we so are
D - when we get older we are going to be like "Do you want to have sex? No... Do you want to go eat? Yea, that sounds great? Cake? Okay."

How sad is that!

I need to go frost, so Good Night!

I want to go to Azu's

The above is what we get daily from Z. Azu (Ah-zoo) is the sweet lady that, bless her crazy heart, wants to take care of other people's children for money. I am not sure how or why people want to ever do this. I love my kids and even some of my families' also but honestly most people's kids drive me crazy. I am quite sure that I am not the only one though, maybe just one of the few that will admit it. So go ahead Azu, take our kid, we happily turn him over to you. You really should charge us more, no really, it is almost highway robbery, the price that we pay to be able to have freedom from our whiny, non eating, movie watching, sassy 2 year old, two days a week. And Azu wonders why we pick him up late. Sometimes we don't really want him back that badly.

Hunger strike

Why can't I diet? It seems like everyone else can do it and do it well. I have pretty much given up. I only have 12 lbs to lose to get down to pre pregnancy weight, that is before Z - I lost all of my weight from Edyn long ago. Every Sunday is the same old declaration of being fat and that Monday is the start of starvation! By the time lunch rolls around on Monday, I am stressed out from some mortgage and have myself a little treat, then figure that all is lost and everything goes down the crapper. Now I shouldn't be complaining so much, I do eat absolutely whatever I want, whenever I want with the only repercussion being the periodic "attacks" that have plagued my life for oh, so long now. If I can't figure it out soon though, I am going to have bring in the reinforcements.

OK, OK, well maybe not that far, but the sheer annoyance of his voice would make me drop that weight at warp speed so that he would go far far away. No wonder he gets such great results out of people.

Oh no, I only have 5 more days until I make that sacred pact again that I hold so dear. I better go get a snack.

Things that make you go HMMMM

This is going to be a new and ongoing post being that I have a crazy husband and kids who constantly make me question my sanity and wonder what in the heck are they thinking.

Let's start this one with Z.

Why do kids find that coloring on their own bodies is one of the most awe inspiring projects?

Even more of a mystery to me is what we found Z playing with a few days ago and lets add that it was for the better part of an hour

For those of you that can't quite make it out, that is a huge block of cheese. He got it out of the fridge and was riding on it like a pony, carrying it like his favorite bear, and just plain having a grand old time with it. Now, I know that the intense love of cheese comes from my husband's side of the family, being that one of their favs is burnt cheese, just cheese on a plate in the microwave, and that Z's cousin, Layton has eaten cheese in one form or another for everyday since he was about 3. He is now 8, I can only imagine the constipation issues.

Picture this

Lying on the floor in the middle of my family room at 3 am crying to my black lab laying next to me because of the teeth clinching pain of back spasms, which I have never encountered before. What a sad picture. What is the deal with that?? I went to see David's cousin Tiffany, who also happens to be an incredible massage therapist and dare I say emotional therapist all in one. Cheers to her, as I can actually function today. I am sure many more a session is in order because I am pretty sure that David wants this to happen again as little as I do. He has an enormous aversion to housekeeping, he says it is due to the fact that his mother made them clean house as a punishment, what a crock!! I am not sure that I know any mother that had there kids clean and made it fun back in my day. So to all those new moms out there, keep those muscles loose, maybe even try a little excercise. What a novel idea! I might just take my own advise on that one.

Can I get an AMEN....

....for the new fall line up on TV. Summer TV just plain sucks! If it weren't for Phelps and company I may have gone crazy with all of the middle of the night feedings. This week has been heaven and DVR is most definitely the best invention since the electricity, or at least since the microwave. Lets just go over all of the excitement of the past few weeks

Prison Break is soooo much better than last season. It is a little like a soap opera though with people being killed then are magically alive again, you know. Days of our Lives!

The Office was great, GO JIM! I only have one question, Why is Ryan back? He was arrested last season.

ER, I will say a sweet farewell to Greg Pratt, that was a total tear jerker last night.

House is such an adorable ass, you just have to love that big jerk with issues galore.

I do have to admit that Survivor has lost its excitement for me, I think it is just same old, same old and Biggest Loser is only good when more people are voted off.

Well, you all know what I will be doing for the next few months so don't bother calling after 9 pm when the kids are in bed and all is quiet, I will be glued to the tv catching up and tuning out as my mom would say.

HAPPY VIEWING!

The excitement is almost too much to handle

Let me recap the exciting weekend we just had. Zavier is volunteering to go pee and poop in the potty without us asking. Everyone said that it is going to be so hard, but so far we haven't had to do anything but provide the toilet and kid seat for him to go in.

We had a huge list of things we were going to do, you know like clean the office out. Clean the garage out. Finish cleaning the basement. Go to Costco which was the only item on the list that got done.

My husband played games on the computer. See pictures below

First with E, she is obviously not having as much fun as my man is. We are loving the 80's hair babe.

And of course, with Z too. He may look like me but his attitude and personality are all David. They are both sooo concerned, I am sure it is over a car exploding or something really important.

Last but not least, the kids waiting patiently while the parents get ready for church.

Maybe next week will be more productive...

The photog genius

Let's be clear on one thing here. All of the incredible looking pictures on this blog, are from my sis, Amy. Also see her blog http://amychamberlain.blogspot.com She is a fabulous when it comes to snapping away and once more is so willing to pull the camera out whenever, family gatherings, special occasions, and when she thinks someone is looking especially cute or funny. Thanks a ton girl!! Who knows what pics we would have of our little E and Z if it were not from her. Oh, that's right, all of the lame ones saved on our computer, most of which are taken in their pajamas. They are going to think that we never dressed them. Really we do, although sometimes not until 3 pm or so but I am finding out that I am not the only one, and let's be honest, I would rather stay in mine until then everyday if I could.

How low can you go..

So yeah for me, as the market plunges today because of all the problems with financials, I find myself with phone calls, one after another, asking about refinancing. This is a good thing and I hope that it only gets better being that the mortgage industry has been in the crapper for the last year.
And yeah one more time, I don't think I will have any time this week to worry about Fly Lady, that is what house cleaners are for anyway or trying to figure out this digital scrapbooking thing. As many of you know, I have not a crafty bone in my body, nor do I enjoy it, but for my kids I thought that they would probably want something with pictures to make them feel loved and give them one less issue to deal with once they are grown. So I have been trying digital scrapbooking, which is a bit more easy than the conventional way but Shutterfly doesn't have any cool embellishments (a term in the scrapbook world) or anything so on I go looking for websites that are easy but make it look like I spent a lot of time.

Happy Birthday Janel

Just want to give a shout out to my sister-in-law, Janel. She is officially of advance maternal age and has managed to pop out five kids before the dreaded date hit. CONGRATS!! Thanks for being the best advise giver ever, and for putting up with our shenanigan's for the first few years. You are not only the best of the best when it comes to family you are also the best when it comes to friendship.

Love you tons and hope that you have a great day.

Out of Commission

So I have been out of order for the last week because I came down with this wierd flu. Feeling like you have just run a marathon but not leaving the couch is just no good. I never knew that I could be that achey. But here is a recap

1. Janel had her baby. YEAAH!!! Congrats to her and little Linkin.

2. Scott, Alexa and fam were in town. It was so fun to see the girls and catch up with everyone. Just another excuse to have Mexican food.

3. Nana's pool closed.. Z has been asking to go swimming everyday and yes I have to explain that it is closed everyday and then hear the whining that commences. Exhibit AAs if he doesn't have anything else to play with


4. My sweet friend Josie asked me why there are no pictures of me anywhere on Facebook etc.. I swear that I have not gained 100 pounds or anything like that, I just really don't think that I am photgenic and don't really think of taking pics of myself when i am snapping away at the kiddies.

5. Got a new hair cut. Okay, we all know that my hair has been the same since 8th grade all one length (sometimes short, other times long) and not super exciting. This is because I am hair illiterate. I can't round brush, braid, curl, pretty much anything that requires skill. Both #4 and #5 lead me to #6

6. I have been trying for the last week to get my hub to take a picture of my new hair and let's just put it this way, he has a knack for taking all the worst pictures I have ever seen, eyes closed, looking the other way, super unattractive head/arm/body positions and then laughing the whole time really helps.
Really David? This is what followed that day

3 Months

Happy 3rd month Edyn. I hope that it hasn't been too tough getting used to life on the outside. We know that only eating every 3 to 4 hours is not on your list of favorites. You liked much more having the constant nourishment through the cord but alas, all good things come to an end. It has been fun for us and to everyone's surprise, Z loves his baby sis. Who would have ever thought that he wouldn't have at least attempted to smother her by now. Well, here's to the first 3 and all the 3's to come. Love ya EE.

P.S. Thanks for sleeping through but stop whining for the paci at 5 am, you don't really need it that bad. I promise.

ARACHNAPHOBIA

OMG!!!!!!!!!! The following pictures are what is inhabiting the model home right across the street from us. Yesterday morning I was going to get the paper and there was one the same size on our house. David killed it and placed it in the street as a warning for any others who dare to cross over into our yard.

Just you average everyday typical spider, maybe in the Amazon or something

This one even has beautiful colors on it. Doesn't that mean poisonous or something?

And last but not least, a wasp nest the size of Texas!

We all know that the housing market sucks right now, but come one, get yourselves a pest control company before they take over the entire neighborhood.

I am soo nosy

So, let me start out by saying, my husband is great. He is very thoughtful when it comes to holidays. My B-Day is coming up and I happened to be looking through our bank accounts and there is a debit on his account from Delta. Hello, I think that I am going somewhere. More to come as my husband will make more mistakes, he is ADD afterall. It took him 3 years just to remember my correct B-Day so there you go. Good try babe, but you know I am nosy.

Finally...

So, here are a few finally's

1. Finally, I have started a blog!!! Everyone asks me if we have one and of course until today the answer has been no, I need to.
2. Finally, baby E is sleeping through the night. It only took 9.5 weeks, but seemed like much less being that the sleep deprivation makes your days run together
3. Finally, my birthday is almost here. I need a reason to go shopping for myself.
4. And Finally, congrats to the new babies that came along last week, Joia and Sam. They are both soo darling and can't wait to get to know them. GREAT JOB NEW MOM'S.